Thursday, January 17, 2013

Detours

I have always loved maps. I remember going through magazines  with my oldest brother, the two of us clipping coupons for information from all over the world for travel information, especially for maps. Before the days of mobile phones with maps on them, I always had a map open on my lap when I rode in the passenger seat. I loved seeing where we were, what was coming up, what was nearby, how other places I knew related to one another, and discovering new places and things.

I have had maps in every place I have served. They're not for only finding my way; I find my way in relation to other points on the map.

So when my extended self-guided daily retreat time, The Map you Make Yourself, a pilgrimage inward, addressed detours, I was intrigued. I was especially intrigued by the question asking what maps do I live by.

There are limits to self-revelation. I won't share here what I discovered about myself. I will, however, share the blessing Jan L. Richardson wrote, and how I choose to read it.

God beyond borders,
may I wander
with wanting enough
to unlearn my path,
with wonder enough
to receive the secrets of each place,
with wisdom enough
to allow them to whisper me
home a different way.
(Jan L. Richardson)

I first read is as "...may I wander with wanting enough...." as in "enough wanting" - "...to unlearn my path, with wonder enough [ie enough wonder]...with wisdom enough [enough wisdom]..."

The second time I read it, it came out this way:

"...may I wander with wanting [ , ] enough to unlearn my path,
with wonder [ , ] enough to receive the secrets of each place,
with wisdom [ , ] enough to allow them to whisper me home a different way."

That is, may I wander with wanting, with wonder, and with wisdom, long enough and fully enough to unlearn, receive, and allow.

It is a fine distinction.

Imagine the map by which you live - your internal rules, your internal habits, routines, self-expectations, expectations of others, et cetera. What would a detour from all that - or even one part of it only - look like? Feel like? Would it be disorienting, or freeing, or both, or something else?

The writer of a series of books I've worked in the past suggests that creativity can be unlocked when you choose a route to someplace familiar, a route you know like the back of your hand, a route you always, always take the same, when you choose to take a different route, one you have never taken, one you do not know for certain. No GPS or maps. Mi esposo and I call it "getting lost", "going on an adventure".

Now I'm trying it on internally. It's strange. It's strange when I find myself not fretting over an outcome. My internal map includes a route called fretting. I choose a detour and suddenly, I found myself, without thinking about it, trying it on. I shall try it again.

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